Once upon a time, a man came to see a marriage counselor, and began to complain: "My wife is too passive and quiet. I do all the cooking and cleaning, and she barely helps out. And I even have to do all the talking – if I don't start a conversation, you'd be able to hear a pin drop in our house. I always have to initiate and start discussions. I can't go on this way!"
The experienced counselor hid a little smile under his mustache, and asked the distraught husband to do him a favor: "Please close your eyes for a minute or two, concentrate carefully, and try to remember the time when you first met your wife and were going out with her. Once you bring that period to life, tell me please: What was her special quality that most attracted you, that made you want to marry her?"
The fellow closed his eyes, thought carefully, and finally said very firmly: "When I met my wife, I felt that she strengthened my life forces. She gave me so much space for what I needed and wanted to do. My nature is to be dominant, and my wife has a great ability to listen and hear. She was perfect for me!"
The therapist released a broad smile and said, "Thus, you see that you need someone who listens to you. For you, your wife is excellent!" And they lived happily ever after…
Even if the story did not happen exactly that way (it didn't), many elements of it occur every day in our own lives. And it will help us answer a question about Parshat Noah.
The Torah says about Noah that he was a "righteous man, without blemish in his generation" (B'reshit 6,9). The Talmud (Sanhedrin 108a) records the following dispute: "R. Yochanan says he was righteous in his generation - but if he would have lived in another [more righteous] generation, he would not have been a tzaddik. But Resh Lakish says, given that Noah was righteous in his evil generation, how much more so would he have been righteous if he had lived among the righteous!"
The Talmud brings logical support for each opinion, and for R. Yochanan, it says: "Noah was like a barrel of wine placed in a cellar with vinegar, where its pleasant odor is felt; but if the wine were to be placed somewhere else, its aroma would not be felt."
Rashi, too, cites this dispute, explaining that Resh Lakish understands the verse as complimentary of Noah, while R. Yochanan says that it is to Noah's discredit. The commentaries spilled great amounts of ink seeking to explain what fault was found in Noah.
The general tendency, based on Midrash D'varim Rabba 11, is that Noah saved himself from the Flood but did not try to save his generation. In Hassidic terminology, Noah was a "tzaddik in peltz [fur]," warming himself in his own fur coat but not seeking to warm others as well – unlike Avraham and Moshe, who were "oven tzaddikim," those who warmed up others and were very concerned for the welfare of others. The Holy Or HaChaim found an allusion to this negative trait of Noah in the first words of Parshat Noah: "These are the chronicles of Noah, Noah…" – he was concerned about himself, not others.
This raises a strong question on R. Yochanan. Why did he choose to find fault in Noah, who was a great man who stood righteously in the face of the great sins of his generation, and was chosen by G-d to be the one to perpetuate His world? Why did R. Yochanan choose to look negatively upon Noah, as opposed to Resh Lakish's complimentary approach?
Connecting the Dots
It could be that this question can be answered with the above story of the husband who forgot why he loved his wife. R. Yochanan is teaching us that Noah's fault was also his strength – and it was exactly what his generation needed. For in G-d's plan, everything is precisely adjusted and calibrated, and the process of spiritual rectification that the world had to undergo at this time required precisely a "tzaddik in peltz." How so?
The primary quality of the people who lived in these early generations was their tremendous strengths, in all ways. They always sought to spread out further and further, with no boundaries. They were giants, lived long lives, and were "sons of G-d who took wives from whomever they chose" (B'reshit 6,1). They did not rein in their strengths, and engaged in robbery, theft, and licentiousness, because they wanted everything, with no limits.
G-d punished them in kind. He brought upon them a Flood – natural rain water gone wild. Water is a positive force, but when it comes without boundaries, it spreads powerfully in every direction and destroys everything in its path. As R. Yochanan himself said in the above-cited Gemara passage: "The generation of the Flood sinned in 'greatness' (6,5) and was punished in 'greatness' (7,11; the word rabbah is used in both verses, signifying great amounts)." That is, they did everything in extra-large size, and this is how they were punished as well.
The person chosen to restore the world to its proper balance was Noah – because he had the opposite quality. He was closed up within himself, he was willing to limit himself and "hide out" in an ark. Yes, he was a "tzaddik in peltz," concerned for his family and himself – but this was the quality that was needed at that time.
Thus, his negative quality was actually his praise.
May it be G-d's will that we take this view when we look upon ourselves and our situations. May we look at our spouses, and everyone around us, and see how what appear to be their faults are actually positive attributes! And in this way, the faults will actually become positive. [As Rebbe Nachman of Breslav said: If we think good about someone, he will actually become good!]
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