When Kindness is Evil

by Rav Moshe Leib HaCohen Halbershtat yeshiva.org.il, translated by Hillel Fendel.

What is true kindness? 

In this week's Torah portion of Vayera (B'reshit 18,1-22,24), we read of two angels disguised as men whom Lot kindly hosted in his home. Rashi tells us that he learned this blessed trait of welcoming guests from his uncle Avraham, our Patriarch Abraham. 

We then read of the evil S'domites who came to Lot's house and violently demanded that they hand over his guests for their own evil designs. Lot refused, as we would expect – but then he shocks us with his "solution" to the problematic situation: "Behold, I have two virgin daughters; I will bring them out to you and you can do as you wish to them. Just to these men do not do a thing, for they have come to take shelter in my home" (19,7-8). 

What is happening here?! Lot, the nephew of Avraham who lived in his house and from whom he learned how to be compassionate and kind, is willing to abandon his own daughters to a frenzied mob?? Can there be a worse instance of corrupted behavior? 

Not only that, but the truth is that when Lot was given a choice of where to live, he chose, of his own volition, to live among these evil S'domites (13,10-13)! Is Lot some kind of schizophrenic? 

The Medrash Tanchum goes so far as to say that Lot apparently wished to keep his daughters for incestuous purposes for himself: "The way of the world is that a person is willing to kill or be killed to save his wife and daughters – and yet Lot gave them over by his own choice! G-d thereupon said to him: 'By your life, save them for yourself - and in the end, schoolchildren will laugh derisively when they read: Both daughters of Lot with child by their father (19,36).'" [See also the Ramban's commentary to this passage, particularly verses 7-8.]

From these words of our Sages, it is quite clear that Lot was not a particularly great tzaddik… He chose to live with the vile people of S'dom so that he could behave like them – even to the point of being willing to ditch his daughters; he had an evil heart and a distorted S'domite ideology. 

But then, how do we explain his proclivity to welcome guests, which is certainly a kind and blessed trait?

We read in the Book of Proverbs (Mishlei): Chessed leumim chatat, "Righteousness exalts a nation; kindness of nations – sin." (14,34). Rashi explains that the Gentiles would snatch from one and give to another, i.e., perform kindness in a sinful manner. We note that the singular "nation" in this verse indicates one special people, Israel, while the second part of the verse is written in plural, speaking of the Gentiles in general. 

The message of the verse is clearly to warn us from stealing, even if we then do kindnesses and give charity with what we have stolen. It is a Halakhic principle that a good deed done in a sinful manner [such as making fun of someone in order to build up someone else] is nothing more than a sin (Sukkah 30a). Rabbeinu Menachem HaMeiri wrote in the 13th century: "The kindness and charity done by Israel, and those imbued with their traits, is a great honor to them, because they do these deeds with their own property and from the labor of their hands; but the kindnesses done by the Gentiles and those who follow them are actually 'sins', for they steal from one and give to another…"

The Talmud (Bava Batra 10b) cites many Rabbinic explanations on the above verse from Proverbs. Their common thread is that idolaters and the like do not really perform good deeds, but rather perverse their ways and act in a praiseworthy manner externally, while their deeds are actually motivated by wickedness and have evil consequences. 

Lot, too: "Lot lifted his eyes and beheld the entire plain of the Jordan, well-watered… And he chose [that area] …" (13,10-11). Lot lives in Avraham's house, but was in reality focused on the area of S'dom. He chose to separate from Avraham and his G-dly path, and instead joined up with the S'domites. Lot chose the land of rivers and brooks – the land of men of evil and iniquity. 

After a while, his conscience began to bother him, for after all, he had lived with the truth for many years in Avraham's house. He did not know what to do – until he found a solution, the type of solution chosen by those who wish to follow their lusts but whose "good hearts" don't let them do so with abandon. He took one attribute from Avraham – that of welcoming guests with kindness – but did so only externally and superficially. He would act as if he was very kind, to the point that he would even abandon his daughters simply to protect his guests – and all this just to quiet his conscience and then continue along the evil path he had chosen. "The kindness of Gentiles is sin" – kindness that stems from their evil traits and with very ulterior motives, and not from walking in G-d's path, is no longer kindness, but rather cruelty and sin. They steal from their own families in order to help others, and are compassionate to cruel enemies while hurting their own countrymen. 

The holy Torah teaches us that even when we welcome needy guests into our homes, or any mitzvah, it must be done from pure motives, and certainly in a thought-out manner according to Torah principles. Only in this way will we merit to fulfill the above verse, "Charity will exalt a nation," and not, Heaven forbid, "Kindness of nations is sin."