by Rav Yosef Naveh, yeshiva.org.il, translated by Hillel Fendel.
With Purim only a month away, let us discuss a topic that has more to do with Purim than is generally thought: Teshuva, repentance.
The renowned Sfat Emet (the Gerrer Rebbe, R. Yehuda Aryeh Leib Alter, d. 1905) compares two types of teshuva: When we repent in the month of Elul, in preparation for the High Holy Days, it stems from fear and awe of the Day of Judgement – but during Adar, the month of Purim, the teshuva can be of happiness and love for G-d, as happened on the first Purim itself: "Israel reaffirmed their acceptance of the Torah during the days of Ahashverosh," the Talmud tells us, meaning that they received the Torah anew, of their own free will.
The author of HaLekach v'HaLibuv (R. Avraham Schorr, nephew of Rosh Yeshivat Torah Vodaas Rav Gedaliah Schorr) cites a verse in B'reshit in which Yehuda says to his father, "If not that we delayed, we could have returned already [from Egypt] twice by now." He notes that the Hebrew for "if not" in the verse is lulei, which is "Elul" spelled in reverse, referring to fear-based teshuva. On the other hand, the word for "already" is zeh, spelled zayin heh, 12 in gematriya – an allusion to the 12th month of the year, Adar, in which our teshuva is love-based.
The verse also says "twice," referring to the double value of love-based teshuva in that it turns sins into merits. Rabbi Schorr adds that the primary aspect of this type of teshuva is alluded to by yet a fourth word in this verse: atah, "now." That is, the teshuva must also be now-based, as he explains:
"The way a Jew can overcome the husk of Amalek, may his name be blotted out, is by not thinking about the past at all – but only about now! For the Amalekite weakness is manifest in the force that tells us, "You can't serve G-d; you're a sinner, you have failed!" This raises doubts within us as to whether we can really do good – and Amalek and safek, doubt, are the same gematriya. On the other hand, the opposite of safek is vadai, whose gematriya is the same as that of G-d's name Ehyeh, which literally means "I will be," – or, "From now on, I invite myself to 'be.'" That is, one must see only the future and try to do good, and not look back at what was."
The Moharosh, the Rebbe of Yavne'el near Tiberias, explains this point in his inimitably straightforward manner: "The main point of complete teshuva is to forget the past totally, as if you have no past, and to begin from scratch a new life! Think that from now on, 'I will start anew to be a Jew, to study Torah, to fulfill the mitzvot, to pray to G-d… And when a person forgets his past, he can then make progress in his life…"
Rav Y.M. Charlop writes that Purim is a time in which we have the potential to attain great spiritual depths in Torah and spirituality. In this connection, let us consult an interesting – but unfinished! – passage by Rabbe Nachman of Breslov:
"For at first, all the beginnings were on Pesach, and that's why all the mitzvot are as a memento of the Exodus, zekher liy'tziat Mitzrayim. But now – [and he did not finish]."
What does it mean that he didn't finish? Two explanations have been offered. Reb Nosson, the Breslover Rebbe's primary student, said that he understands from other writings of the Rebbe that he meant to say that whereas Pesach used to mark the beginnings, now Purim has taken on that role (as alluded do in the first letters of five consecutive words in Sh'mot 23,15 having to do with leaving Egypt, which spell out "Purim").
The other explanation, by R. Levi Yitzchak Bender, of saintly blessed memory, takes a different approach, based on the Rebbe's teaching regarding the war with Amalek. Moshe told Yehoshua, "Go out to battle with Amalek tomorrow" (17,9) – because Amalek stands for "postponement," for "procrastination." The power of Amalek gives us thoughts such as, "I'll do it tomorrow, not today! I'll start serving G-d better tomorrow, I'll study tomorrow, etc. etc." But the Rebbe teaches that what we need for true service of G-d is precisely the opposite; the way to beat Amalek is to do it "now!" We should do a mitzvah now, and start our new spiritual path now. It doesn't matter what was; now is the time to start revealing what we really want; do it now!
This, then, is what is meant by "he, the Rebbe, didn't finish" – because there is no end to new beginnings! Begin now! The goal is to do and to want and to please G-d more and more. Don’t be weak in your own eyes, but rather know that with even the smallest act or littlest desire, you can sanctify G-d's name. As Maimonides taught, one should always imagine that the world is on the scales, and the worthy and unworthy parts are perfectly balanced – and your next little act of goodness can make the difference and tip the scales for goodness!
Reb Nosson also writes that Purim is like pirurim, crumbs; just as we gather crumbs, we should also snatch up our good points, no matter how small, and realize how important they are. Thus a person will build himself up, step by step, and also attain true happiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment